Let's get straight to it. You need tips and you needed them yesterday. Preparation is key.
1.Wear something specific to indicate you are busy
Kids need visuals. Wear a feather boa! But beware. That shizzz sheds all over the house. Instead you could wear a hat, sunglasses, or even the same yellow cardigan (just something noticeable) so they know that when mommy is wearing this, mommy is busy and the only interruption is for emergencies.
Get their needs taken care of ahead of time. Drinks, snacks, potty and direction on what you want them to do while you are working.
Discuss what you consider emergencies with your child beforehand. Your child more than likely will have different views of what an emergency is. I told my kids that they must interrupt me for emergencies that are dangerous (fire, water, etc.), injuries (needing ice or a bandaid, etc) or if they need help using the restroom. It is important to let them know that just because Mommy is "closed" at the moment, it does not mean that you are unavailable in a time of need. I use the word "closed" at my house for various things. Young kids, even toddlers, can grasp the concept of something being closed. Choose a term that works for your family.
Role play ahead of time - more on this below.
Wear your item only when you really need to. I know some days you will want to wear it all the live long day. Don't. It will lose its value. Instead, wear it during the most important times of the day. However, wearing it every day is ok! It gives your child more opportunities to practice the boundary. Just not ALL day, every day.
2. Use a visual timer
Again, visuals! I really like this one pictured.
Get it here (Amazon).
Or try the mini version here (Amazon)
I use it for everything. Cleaning up toys, slow eaters, quiet time, putting on shoes...ev.er.y.thaaang. You can set each color to be a specific increment of time. For example, if you want the timer to be set for 20 minutes, you could set the timer to show the green light for 10 minutes, yellow for 7 minutes and red for 3 minutes. It's totally up to you.
The visual is so helpful for children who are too young to grasp the concept of time.
3. Designate a regular parent + child time.
Fill their cup. Plan a special "parent + child time" without distractions (phones), doing an activity THEY want to do.
Plan a time with your child every day without distractions. Set a timer and do something THEY want to do. I know this can be hard during a busy day and some activities they want to do are just....not fun, especially when you have a list of tasks going through your head. Intentionally filling their cup each day will help with the attention seeking behavior. Do this separately for each child.
Whenever possible, try to fit in the quality time prior to that important phone call or task.
4. Secret Signal
Train your kids what to do if they do need to interrupt you. This goes for any situation, not just while you are working. This training takes time. We have a secret signal. If my son needs my attention when I'm talking to someone else, instead of interrupting, he silently comes over to squeeze my hand. I then squeeze his hand back to signal I understand he needs my attention and I will get to him as soon as the conversation I'm having allows. Of course, if it is an emergency, he will let me know.
5. TRAIN by role play
None of this will work the first time you do it. My suggestion is to train before you actually plan to use them in an important situation. Pick a time to discuss what your new expectations are and then play it out with your kids.
Here is a suggestion:
Say "Mommy is going to start using a new clue to let you know that it's 'Mommy's Busy Time.' When I'm wearing this feather boa, that means that I'm busy and you need to give me alone time unless it's an absolute emergency." Then discuss what you deem an emergency.
Next, I would say, "This takes lots of practice, so let's pretend and act this out. First, I want you to be the mommy and wear the boa. I am going to pretend to be you and ask you different questions (e.g., Can I have more milk? Will you read me a book? Mommy, watch this!). We will talk about each one and decide which questions are ok to ask when the boa is on and which questions need to wait until Mommy's Busy Time is over."
After that, I would reverse the roles. You will wear the boa, your child will pretend to interrupt you and I want you to respond the way you plan to when all of this is in action.
Then pick a few times over the next few days to wear your item. Maybe start while doing the dishes. Announce what you are going to do (put on the boa), remind them what THEY will do (interrupt only for emergencies X,Y,Z and whatever task/activity you want them to do independently) and then have them REPEAT it back to you.
The first time I did this, my child-KID YOU NOT- came over to me, not even 2 minutes later, with a sad, pathetic look on their face and said "Mommy! Mommy! I have a boo boo." They will test you. Be consistent.
Take the time to train and stay consistent.
These are tips I have tried and found helpful when getting work done with my kids. I hope you see some benefits too!
Stay sane mommas. We got this!
Taylor
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